By Jay Totzke   (slight edits for accuracy by the webmaster)

      You pick the city.  You pick the arena.  Heck, you can even pick the opponent!  One thing is guaranteed…the Chaos will dominate!

      After years of dedicated, focused, awe-inspiring drive and commitment, the Chaos has reached the pinnacle.  With the “D” word being thrown around the hockey circles, questions still abound.  I asked some of the players for their thoughts and here’s what they said…

Question: Is this Chaos team a true Dynasty?

Terry Fidler:  Oui, oui, j’mapple Terwee, bon bon, rabbit, bibleoteque!!

I have no idea what you just said??

Fidler:  First of all I’d like to thank my hero Michael Jackson, for his inspirational yet

catchy grooves.  They are what keep me going when the tank is empty.  Now, nobody wants to talk about a dynasty.  Anything can happen on any night.  If we continue to work hard and get the bounces everything should be fine.  Cause this is Thriller!

Brad Lipski: Yeah I hear the talk—dynasty this, dynasty that.  Let them talk; we just

have to stay focused and execute.  Hey—have I told you that I’m your worst nightmare?

Joey:  Dynasty?  No officer this is Labatt’s Blue!?  And yes I’d like another!!!

Pete McDonald:  HEEEEEEEEEY!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NA NA NA NA!!

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!  Dynasty?  I think it’s a little too quiet in the dressing room; let me change my head stocking and crank up this boom box… come back later!

Dr. Channer:  What?  Pardon?  I can’t hear myself think with that music blasting.  It is

however strangely motivating.  WHOOOOOOO!!!!  I think it’s important to outwork our opponents every shift of every game.  When we do that we win—it’s that simple.  YEAH, WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Steve Benninger:  Our team has gelled no doot a boot it.  As for dynasty we’ll leave that

            for you guys in the media.  I look for a strong effort day in and day out, no quit.

Pete McDonald:  Yep, we’re a dynasty!!!!  WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

            WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

       The first game would prove to be a great test as the Chaos went up against the Supreme Pylons from North York.  The captain’s line filled the net even with Benninger hobbled by a bad ankle.  McDonald scored 2—both beauties; one goal from a single knee and the other on a sweet little pass (yep I said pass) from #5.  Joey was solid in the blue ice and the Chaos came out with a 3-2 win.  For some unknown reason, justice was not served after the game.  In the locker room we all learned that despite McDonald scoring 2 beauties, Benninger won the player of the game.  Fortunately, this gross injustice was later corrected and McDonald rightly received his recognition (and mat).

       Game two arrived on Saturday morning.  With such a late evening the night before, (the team banquet and the strategy session lasting well into the wee hours) the Chaos were a little sluggish.  After the Chaos squeaked a win in game one, G.M. Brian Kappler was looking to make some moves.  Unimpressed with the lack of cohesiveness, he was ready to pick up the phone.  Then for reasons unknown, he left everything intact.  Perhaps he just looked at his own performance and realized if he was to hoist the cup again it was the guys around him that would carry the load.  McDonald was extremely fired up.  He was sporting a sharp pink skull cap that he had picked up before the game.  Unfortunately for him, Lipskie didn't like it.   He asked . . . no, I have to say that he informed McDonald that he would NOT be wearing it for the game.   Needless to say McDonald crumbled and put on one of his many awesome looking doo rags instead.   Well, the Old Goats were up and things didn’t go according to Hoyle.  The Chaos fell to a team of, well, Old Goats.  A 3-2 loss was not in the plans and Kappler was again ready for the fire sale.  A closed-door meeting with Captain Chaos may have calmed him for the time being; but if the Chaos didn’t right the ship, heads would roll.  Once again, insanity prevailed in the player of the game selection.  For some reason JOEY received the award and coveted mat.    The Chaos were all left shaking their heads - how can a goalie be player of the game in a loss.  This could only happen in Canada.

       The third and possibly final game for the Chaos came Saturday afternoon.  With jobs and reputations on the line, everyone was fired up.  Tocchet’s bookies were next to face the Chaos and they were ready!  The goals came early and often.  So often as a matter of fact, the bookies’ keeper had to ask for a time-out to reapply his SPF 60 to the back of his neck.  The captain—with his job on the line—was working hard.  He won an offensive zone face-off straight back to Lipskie.  With McDonald cowering in the corner, he blazed one just under the crossbar.  And I mean BLAZED!!  Not everyone was scoring however; others were D-ing up.  The good Dr. Channer was a defensive stalwart saving Joey at the goal line with a smooth pirouette.  Fidler sniped a couple and the team just clicked.  The message was sent: Goats, we’ll see you in the finals Sunday morning.   As you can imagine, the player of the game award this time was a no brainer. After Lipskie's laser shot into the net it could only be him and he proudly accepted the coveted mat.   (It's not like anyone was going to dispute it because we all wanted to live to play another game)

        The Chaos should have stayed focused, but all the Niagara Falls distractions were just too tempting.  Some of the higher paid superstars went to the casino; Diamond Jim Belding whipped out the Chase Platinum Visa and scored five crisp $100 bills.  Others checked out the live entertainment.  The team was back in their rooms by 10:00pm resting up for what was to happen the following day.

Sunday morning—Goats vs.Chaos.

        The arena was electric.  Fans, media and players were all prepared.  The moment had arrived.  From the opening face-off it was tight checking.  Neither team was willing to give an inch, not wanting to make a mistake.  The Goats scored first and looked content to leave as champs with a 1-0 win.  Not so fast!  Fidler picked up the puck in the neutral zone and buried it; the game was tied 1-1.  The remaining time ticked off the clock and we were headed to overtime.  Both teams had chances, but for the most part it was dump and chase and don’t get trapped.  Overtime ended, and for the first time in Chaos history it was time for a shootout.  The Chaos seemed bewildered.  Now what?  The captain took charge.  “Lipskie, Fidler and Totzke.”  Lipskie and Fidler are ringers—but Totzke?  Why not the Captain?  “Just listen to the captain!”  So there it was—the hopes and dreams, all the hard work came down to this last moment.  First up was Lipskie…no goal.  Joey made the save at the other end. Still 1-1.  Fidler was up next…no goal.  The Goats score at the other end.  2-1 Goats.  Next was Totzke, he needed to score to keep the dream alive…GOAL!!!!  Joey made a huge save to continue the shootout.  2-2. One more shooter…bring on the drama.  The captain must have had this planned, no hesitation, he would be next. He jumped off the bench and he skated in and buried a beauty backhander top shelf.  Joey once again came up aces and slammed the door on the Goats.  Just like that the celebration was on!  Fans spilled onto the ice; joy and some relief overtook the team.  Mission accomplished.  Of course the player of the game this time was Captain Chaos.  It could not have been anyone else.   You had to know that there was no way he was going to go home without a legitimate mat.

        After such a dramatic finish it’s tough to find the words.  The “cousin connection” scored all three goals in the finals.  Proof that Canadiana is alive and well.  The New Year will bring the return of Dave White reuniting the LO Boyz.  Will the Chaos live up to last year’s performance?