Detroit Chaos
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Detroit Chaos- 2012
The 2012 Chaos team was really looking forward to avenging the shocking loss in the 2011 Championship game. There were a few old faces missing, mostly wimp-out Canucks who were being replaced by some stellar players from the USA. Yes, fans, the Chaos were well motivated, stocked with talent, and heading to Niagara to claim the title that belonged to them.

Well, most of the Chaos were heading to Canada. Unfortunately the Canadian border control decided that it would be way too easy for the Chaos to win the championship with their regular goalie. So they decided that they would send JOEY back to the states. Yes, Chaos fans, that’s right. JOEY was not allowed to enter the country. The border patrol did try to give us a BS story about some prior indiscretion but we know it was nothing. The real reason is that they only way the Chaos could lose to a team from Canada is if they had to play without a goalie. After several frantic calls to prior Chaos players owning goaltending equipment( Kaz and RG) were rejected, the Chaos rolled in to Niagara prepared for the worst.

As usual, the pre-game warm-up meeting consisted of beer, beer, and more beer. But we were lacking the proper food nourishment that has become a tradition from our fans. This will be required for 2013, that’s for sure. The over/under was completed and the Chaos headed to the arena to do battle.

RTG Systems - Burlington, ON, Friday 10:30pm

The Chaos started suiting up hoping the tournament directors would provide a goalie, but they were well prepared for the worst case. “O” McDonald had volunteered to put his incredible shutout string on the line and was busy psyching himself up (and praying) when in walked our new goalie. Incredibly, he was a member of the team we were playing – RTG systems. Even more incredible was the fact that he stood about 4’9” tall, weighed about 125lbs, and was toting his Pee Wee equipment. But hey, that is definitely better than relying on “O” McDonald. Brady Brainard was welcomed with open arms and firmly told by Captain Chaos that he had better not be letting in any goals to help his regular team win. We shouldn’t have worried. Brady seemed to take great delight in stoning his own team mates. The game started with an overwhelming barrage of pressure on the Chaos and it was only the incredible play of the 6’7”, 275 pound Brady that kept the Chaos in the game.
As has been the case before, Will Owen tallied the first goal of the year for the Chaos and the game settled into a more Chaos-like flow. Still in the first period, da Butch put the next goal in for the Chaos and before the first period was over it was 3-0 Chaos thanks to a goal by Steve Pentony (who the hell is that). The 2nd period started like the first with tons of pressure on Brady and finally he crumbled and let in 2 extremely soft goals. We were all wondering if he had gotten a sign from someone but that was not the case. He settled back in and the period ended with the Chaos up 3-2. The third period was classic back and forth hockey and to seal the deal da Butcha scored his second of the night and after Brady threw RTG one more bone, the Chaos started the 2012 tournament off with a 4-3 victory. Shouts of who needs JOEY rang through the locker room. Brady was the 2012 Chaos goalie and the #1 star of the game despite da Butcha getting 2 lucky goals.

Wolves - Kleinburg, ON, Saturday 12:00 high noon

The high flying Chaos opened game 2 like they were on a mission from God. Unfortunately, Brady didn’t get the memo and was still hung over and playing like an RTG systems defenseman. The Wolves struck for 2 early goals and the Chaos were whispering about a conspiracy and wondering how the hell to get JOEY into Canada by game 3. Captain Chaos cut the lead to 1 but 13 seconds later, Brady was shocked by the third Wolves goal of the game. It was time to get serious and who better than the 3M’s? To the surprise of nobody, Paul “Y” McDonald tallied the next goal after the 3Ms simply wore the Wolves down with relentless pressure and forechecking. Going into the 3rd period down by 2, the Chaos continued to press and to the surprise of everybody Brian Kappler lit the lamp to tie the game. That’s how it stayed until with just over 3 minutes to go Captain Chaos showed why he wears the C and gave the Chaos a 1 goal lead. With the Wolves net empty and 37 seconds to go the pressure was on and the 3Ms were on the ice to secure the victory. Which they did when Macaskill scored into the empty net for a 2 goal lead with 37 seconds to go. But the Wolves would not give up and Brady surrendered a goal with only 12 seconds to go once again it was a 1 goal game. Again the Captain stepped up. Not wanting to risk relying on Brady to stop another shot, the Captain took over at the face-off and completed his hat trick with only 3 ticks left on the clock thereby earning player of the game honors from the 3Ms who were sure to share it for their incredible play up to that point.

RTG vs a team with some girls – Saturday afternoon.

The Chaos’ newly adopted goalie and favorite player suited up for his regular RTG team on Saturday afternoon. Most of the Chaos players showed up to quietly cheer him on. But many would say, it was not so quiet. Brady may have received more cheers for doing nearly nothing during that game than he had received since he was a Pee Wee. But despite all the cheers, he simply could not score and several of the Chaos players commented that he probably should have stuck to goaltending. During this game Sandstrom decided to pretend he was not da Butcha but Dr. Butcha when one of the players in the game suffered a shoulder injury. But despite Dr. Butcha’s best efforts, he could not get the man’s shoulder back in. Oh well, it was probably a broken bone and not just out of joint – at least da Butcha had a chance to inflict some pain on someone without worrying about getting a penalty.

Twisted Caps - Georgetown, ON – Saturday 5:45PM

A victory in this game and the Chaos would move on to the Championship. Victory was inevitable. No question. The Chaos were on a mission. Unfortunately, once again, Brady forgot that he was on the Chaos and the expectation was to cruise into the Championship game. With a little over 4 minutes to go in the first period the Twisted Caps took the lead 1-0. The Chaos were reeling. It was obvious that they were over-confident. The 2nd period was not much different as the Chaos failed to score but at least Brady stood tall and kept the deficit at 1. With a little over 7 minutes to go it looked like the punchless Chaos were going to be falling short but it was Butcha time again and Eric scored to tie the game. Inspired by da Butcha’s heroic effort, the 3Ms roared off the bench and pinned the Twisted Caps down in their own end for what must have seemed like an eternity for their poor overmatched netminder. At the 5:11 mark of the 3rd period the Chaos took the lead for good with a patented 3M goal by “Y” McDonald from “O” McDonald and Macaskill. An empty net goal by Steve Pentony (who?) clinched the Chaos’ trip to the Championship game. “Y” McDonald earned the first star for the GWG.

Wolves - Kleinburg, ON, Sunday , 1:15pm

The Championship game was a rematch with the Wolves who fell to the Chaos on Saturday. There was Chaos all over the place when the Chaos arrived at the rink. The game was delayed by well over an hour because of an injury to a girl in an earlier game. They could not get her off the ice and she was screaming and crying like a girl. Hopefully she is OK, but it sure caused trouble for the Chaos. Channer was worried about his flight home and somehow he and Lovell were missing when the game was moved to another rink. The Chaos figured they had bailed since neither answered phone calls – never mind that cell phone service is non-existent at the rink. From the opening drop of the puck, it was clear that the Chaos were in for a challenge. The Wolves really stepped up their game and they had one guy who was an a$$hole and good player rolled into one. It was all the shorthanded Chaos could do just to keep the game scoreless for the first period. It was around then that Channer and Lovell were seen sprinting(?) to the locker room to join the fray. And fray is no exaggeration. This was one rough game. The refs let it get out of hand and the game was physical especially for a no-check game. But the Chaos held grimly on. Midway through the 2nd period it was still scoreless when Lovell and Channer graced the Chaos with their presence. Their impact was near immediate as the Wolves scored 3 goals in 3.5 minutes and the 2nd period ended with a discouraged Chaos bench down 3-0. The game got rougher and rougher as the Chaos fell behind 5-0 before the 3Ms put on enough pressure for “Y” McDonald to score a meaningless goal. Despite the loss, the Chaos held their heads high as they headed to the locker room to close the tournament. The management awarded the 1st star to the entire team for a great effort against a really tough team. Wait ‘till next year is the war cry. We will be back. We will be ready. We will be tougher. The Chaos have unfinished business. It was another great year and great effort. We will try to bring our own goalie next year but we know that if we don’t, Brady will be there and Brady will do a great job. The Chaos management would like to thank him for sticking with us the entire tournament. Good luck next year Brady (except when you are playing the Chaos).