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Probable Line-Up
Goalie: JOEY Krizek
| Forwards |
Left Wing |
Center |
Right Wing |
| Line 1 |
E. Sandstrom |
S. Benninger |
D. Channer |
| Line 2 |
B. Kappler |
T. VanHackssalot |
Y. McDonald |
| Line 3 |
J. Stachowski |
M. Macha |
T. Schraffenberger |
| Defense |
Left |
Right |
| Line 1 |
A. McNamara |
A.O'Brien |
| Line 2 |
P. Kinlin |
W. Owen |
| Line 3 |
|
|
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Room Assignments
| Room 1 |
Benninger/O'Brien/McNamara |
| Room 2 |
Channer/Kappler |
| Room 3 |
Sandstrom/Stachowski |
| Room 4 |
Kinlin/Krizek |
| Room 5 |
Y.
McDonald/Owen |
| Room 6 |
VanHacksalot/Macha/Schraffenberger |
Schedule
| Game |
Opponent |
Day / Time |
| One |
Goaldiggers |
May 16,
7:45pm |
| Two |
Grim
Reapers |
May 17,
10:30am |
| Three |
The
Midwest Gang |
May 17,
4:45pm |
| Championship |
Chaos
vs ????? |
Sunday |
|
|
Name |
# |
Position |
 |
Mickey's Mojo
The Chaos webmaster has managed to get Mickey
Redmond, hockey great and beloved Red Wing announcer, to provide some
insight about the 2014 Chaos roster. Pay attention. This man
knows his hockey. |
 |
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|
Benninger, Steve |
19 |
F |
Captain Chaos has a revamped roster this year.
Coming up with a way to make up for the loss of 2/3 of the 3M line will be
an incredible challenge. The Captain is likely to be nearly exhausted
and have weak legs after his thorough scouring of the Screaming Beaver
roster. Digging deep into the Beaver pool of players, he has come up
with Macha and Schraffenberger. Now that the roster is set, he
needs to put the distractions aside, forget about the Beaver recruiting and
elevate his game significantly if he wants to bring home a championship. |
|
Channer, Dwight |
42 |
F |
Channer did not tally a point last year.
True Chaos fans will claim that it is simply because he missed the first
game but the hockey experts believe that after many years of improvement,
age has finally started taking a toll. The opponents must keep a
close eye on him early to see if he merits serious attention this year. |
|
Kappler, Brian |
26 |
F |
Kappler will be Kappler. He will be on the ice.
He will take up space. He will set up the over/under so he has the
best chance to win. And of course he will score a garbage goal or two
and pick up an assist when he accidentally passes the puck to a skilled
player. But make no mistake. He is one of the key Chaos
players in the tournament ..... OK, maybe not. That was really a
stretch. |
|
Kinlin, Peter |
6 |
D |
Kinlin returns from Ohio again. Captain
Chaos is hoping he regains the Canadian form that once made him a top
producer on the blue line. Sadly, his performance the last few years
has become too Ohio like. It is time for him to shake off the
Buckeyes and Blue Jackets and raise his game up to the level of a Canadian
or Red Wing. If he can do it then the Chaos have a great chance of
winning it all. |
|
Krizek, JOEY |
30 |
G |
JOEY had a truly epic Chaos 2013 weekend. It is
just too bad that once again it was in the bar and not on the ice where he
gave more goals per game than any season in history. At least last
year his bar performance was a bit more creative than in the past.
Nobody will ever forget the trap he skillfully set for Andy and Tyler.
Well done JOEY. The Chaos are all hoping that JOEY can get
his focus back on the ice and back on the puck so they can cruise to the
championship. |
|
Macha, Mike |
25 |
F |
Macha is one of the new faces that Captain Chaos
scrounged from the Screaming Beavers. He may very well get the
honor of wearing the "25". It is extremely doubtful that he will
measure up to the incredible performances of "O" McDonald over the years but
he can try. Macha will certainly show flashes of skill and nice
moves, but unless the opposing goalie is asleep, the Chaos score sheet will
not change since he is not known to the Beavers as a finisher. |
|
McDonald, Pete |
25 |
F |
"O" McDonald stays on the roster this year even though
he is not playing? Why, simple. 2 reasons. First, he is
running the web page so he can do whatever he wants. Second, clearly
he is still listed here so he probably wants to be counted as a team member
if the Chaos can bring home a championship. Why isn't he playing after
his first season of good health in recent memory. Simple. The
bonehead scheduled a vacation and didn't check with Captain Chaos first.
Not very smart. Don't pick the over on him this year.
Push at best. |
|
McDonald, Paul |
91 |
F |
Although as usual "Y" McDonald had a player of the
game honor last year, he was not the usual scoring machine the Chaos fans
have come to know. He has not been playing much but recently
recommitted himself to the game. It will be extremely tough for him to
notch a 3M worthy performance since Captain Chaos has saddled him with Tyler
and Kappler. The smart money says he will score more late in the
tournament when Captain Chaos needs some offense and puts him with Macha and
Schraffenberger or moves him to the #1 line in place of Channer. |
| McNamara, Alex |
4 |
D |
Last year Alex almost certainly would have been the
Chaos Rookie of the Year. The biggest obstacle was that Pete's chooses
rookie of the year and his cousin was also playing his first Chaos
tournament. The opponents are definitely worried about The Rookie's
sophomore season because if he actually gives his full effort and makes a
few end-to-end rushes, he is likely to make The Chaos faithful forget about
any of the great defensemen who have patrolled the blue line in the past
(except for Will of course). Pick the over on this guy. |
| O'Brien, Aron |
2 |
D |
Where does Captain Chaos keep getting these new guys?
It is a pain in the rear coming up with scouting reports on unknowns like
Aron. After a little research, I found out that he played for the
Chaos in 2012 and played well. Unfortunately, he totally lacked
commitment and blew off the Sunday game to go to a barn concert.
I don't know what a barn concert is, but it is definitely not as good as a
Chaos game. The fact that Captain Chaos invited him back may
indicate that he is better than I think ... but I doubt it. More
likely he was simply desperate to fill a roster spot. |
| Owen, Will |
98 |
D |
In 2013, Owen once again showed why he is a Chaos for
life. He played very well and pretty much carried the rest of the
lackluster D earning a Player of the Game honor in the last game.
Willy has somehow managed to get control of himself off the ice so maybe he
will set the example for some of the younger members of the team who are
still on probation. |
|
Sandstrom, Eric |
10 |
F |
2014 marks the return of Da Butcha to the Chaos
line-up. He has not played much this year and it is likely that
he is just showing up to blow off steam and go crazy. Damn, I wish I
could be there to see it. I mean, "O" McDonald
probably wishes he could be there to see it. |
| Schraffenberger, Troy |
7 |
F |
Schraffenberger is another Beaver that Captain Chaos
seems to love. In his first Beaver performance he was suspended
for a game for what may have been the sneakiest Beaver spearing in history
... except that the refs saw it. Schraffenberer is coming off a
broken foot caused by complete stupidity so we know he is not very smart.
He should fit well with the other rookies. There is lots of
potential here, not just for scoring, but for another Saturday night worth
of "The Debacle II". |
| Stachowski, Jim |
28 |
F |
You might not know this,
but Stachowski actually returned to the Chaos LAST year. It is
true, you can look it up. He did not make much of an impact and
surprisingly he is back. There can be only one explanation.
You see, Jim's son LJ has been subbing with Jim on Friday Knights.
Captain Chaos asked Jim if LJ could play and the deaf old blockhead thought
he was being invited back. Since Captain Chaos is such a nice
man, he could not bring himself to clear up the misunderstanding so once
again Jim has a chance to earn his place. Take the under. |
| VanHeukelom, Tyler |
56 |
F |
Tyler is back? This is incredible.
How is this explainable? I guess there could be good reasons.
Maybe Alex wanted him back as a room mate and won't reject him again when he
climbs in bad in his birthday suit. Maybe the taxi driver's 16
year old son has challenged him to a drinking contest. Maybe JOEY
asked Captain Chaos to bring him back so he could take him to school at the
pub again. Maybe Captain Chaos has noticed an improvement this
year and thinks Tyler will help bring home a championship ..... Nah,
take the under. |
|
Diaspro, Lenny |
7 |
OUT |
Pete's cousin played well last year but could not make
it this year. Will he be one-time Chaos? Time will tell |
|
Hill, Jason |
17 |
OUT |
No Hill? What happened to him?
Sucking up to the new boss. |
|
Lovell, Andy |
13 |
OUT |
Other than the loss of "O" McDonald, the loss of
Lovell has sent shockwaves through the 'Zoo. Ticket sales are down,
bars are closing, and taxi drivers are rejoicing. Hopefully Bozo
will return in 2015 |
|
Macaskill, Mike |
3 |
OUT |
Like Hill, sucking up to the new boss. |
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