Detroit Chaos
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Probable Line-Up

Goalie: JOEY Krizek

Forwards Left Wing Center Right Wing
Line 1 D. Channer S. Benninger J. Totzke
Line 2 E. Sandstrom T. VanHacks The Rev
Line 3 P. Belding J. Cox A. Lovell

Defense Left Right
Line 1 G. Barna W. Owen
Line 2 Troy S J. Bieber
Line 3 M. Macha  

Room Assignments
Hampton Inn Marquette/Waterfront
461 South Lakeshore Boulevard
Marquette, Michigan 49855
 Phone: 906-228-6001

Room 1 Steve, Jay, Tyler
Room 2 JOEY/Glenn
Room 3 Troy, Bieber, Cox
Room 4 Preston, Dwight, Andy (throwback college night)
Room 5 The Rev, Will


Game / Location Opponent Day / Time
1 /  Olson-Lakeview Arena Wausau Bombers Friday 2:30pm
2 / BEC-Northern Michigan's rink (Next to Lakeview Arena) Carp River Bandits Saturday 12:00 Noon
3 / Russell-Lakeview Arena Anderson Tackman Saturday 3:00pm
4 / Championship game Da Butcha Brothers Anytime / Anyplace
Name # Position
Yooper Yodler
Seems Mickey Redmond didn't want to bother with the Mojo after the poor 2016 Chaos performance.  No problem.  There were plenty of local Yoopers willing to weigh in on the Chaos lineup.
Bieber, Justin 7 Seriously?  Captain Chaos managed to get Justin Bieber to play on his team?   What's next?  The Backstreet Boys?  This is his replacement for Macha which admittedly is a reasonable upgrade.    But look at that guy!  Don't you want to just beat the crap out of him?   I do.  Should be pretty easy if he doesn't run away.
Barna, Glenn 3 D Barna?   Is dat a name?   Seems like he is missing a letter or two.  Like Barnaby, Barnacle, Barnabites.  Maybe because he has an extra n on his first name?   Maybe he is decent, but judging by the rest of the Chaos Crew he is probably just a has-been or young punk that Captain Chaos has recruited to try to make up for the devastating loss of Pete and Paul McDonald who both wimped out this year.   One Barna doesn't make up for one McDonald let alone two. 
Belding, Preston 8 F Exactly what is a Preston Belding anyway Eh?   Can't be a hockey player.  From Columbus?  Can't be very good.   But as long as he can drink lousy beer he will like it here.
Benninger, Steve 19 F We have all heard about the so called Captain Chaos.   The town is ready for this guy.   Seems doubtful the player will live up to the hype eh?    But in all seriousness, you have to respect a guy who can play the morning after getting so trashed that the elevator, hallway and his room required cleaning ladies in full Hazmat suits just to survive.   Probably a man to contend with.
Channer, Dwight 42 F This guy is flying all the way from Arizona just to get humiliated in Marquette?    Probably not a very smart man.    About the best the Chaos can hope for out of this guy is for him to bring some warm weather up here.  
Cox, James 25 F Well, at least we know the Chaos have Cox.   Definitely a requirement for entry into the men's league.  Rumor is that Cox is the big mouth half of the Chaos goon squad with that VanHack hack.   Nobody up here worried at all.   He will see what hacking really is once the games begin.
Krizek, JOEY 30 G We don't have border guards on our bridge like they do in Canada to keep guys like this out so there is some worry in da UP about this guy.  But there is no worry on the ice.  Thankfully there is no limit to how many goals can be scored so the UP players are planning a scoring fest against  what will surely be a week-kneed newlywed.
Macha, Mike 7 D Luckily for the Yooper crowd, Captain Chaos brought Macha on board at the last minute.   Clearly the #5 defenseman of the group, at least he should help to make sure Krizek is awake and has something to do.  Macha has shown flashes of greatness in the past but what happens in his mind is not as relevant as what happens on the ice.  So far this year he has been average at best but he does have the potential, however slight,  to have a positive impact.
Lovell, Andy 13 F A little research on the Chaos website shows that this guy shows up nearly every year.   Seems he could easily have been a Yooper in a prior life.  This guys is great for entertainment value.   Whether it is starting the ice bucket challenge years before anyone else ever thought of it or getting plastered and sleeping on the front lawn of the hotel, Andy is always up for a challenge.   Some of us are hoping he likes it here and gets a job in town.    He would be a great fit for Marquette other than his hockey skills.
Owen, Will 5 D We know a bit about this young guy since he has been up here before giving us his money riding around on snowmobiles and 4 wheelers.    An actual decent player it seems and with Krizek in net they need him to be at his best which will be tough since he does like to hit the Busch pretty hard .... (that's probably why he just got engaged)
Sandstrom, Eric 10 F Captain Chaos recruited this former Yooper who now lives down south.   At least the Chaos will have one guy on the team who knows what UP hockey is eh?    But the so called Butcha is also playing with his brothers and will abandon the Chaos should the two teams meet in the finals where we all know da Yoopers always prevail.
Schraffenberger, Troy 91 D Well, he does have a long name.  Another recently married Chaos so it is plain to see that the team will struggle in the later periods as legs of wimps like Troy weaken.    The Yooper scouting report shows he is clearly the laziest skater on the team but once or twice a game he wakes up for a rush that typically yields nothing. 
Toland, Terry 71 D Our bridge guy knows Terry.   He is The Rev.   Captain Chaos is trying to invoke the will of God to try to get his team to win a Championship.    He doesn't know that God is a Yooper which is why da UP is also known as God's Country.   The Rev has finally made the cut to be on the Chaos and it is well deserved.   He can certainly drink with the best of us and he is also pretty easy to skate past on a rush.  
Totzke, Jay 2 F Totzke returns to the Chaos.  That would be a big story except that he is now getting a bit old.   Perhaps Captain Chaos brought him along to help motivate and nursemaid Cox, VanHacksalot and Troy through a weekend of whippings.    For sure those guys need a calming influence.   Jay will probably be pretty good since he is from Canada which is almost as good as being from da UP Eh?
VanHeukelom, Tyler 56 F Da UP penalty boxes are big so the deaf half of the Chaos goon squad will have plenty of room to sit and cool off.  It is always nice to have an opponent who takes his off-shifts in the penalty box so we can score some easy goals.   He is not a typical big goon but rather a chippy little bugger who somehow recently got engaged ... Sad, Very Sad .... for her.