Detroit Chaos
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Probable Line-Up

Goalie: Brian Crawford

Forwards Left Wing Center Right Wing
Line 1 E. Sandstrom S. Benninger J. Hartley
Line 2 A. Lovell T. VanHacks C. TheManiac
Line 3 D. Channer P. Belding B. Kappler

Defense Left Right
Line 1 Macha Bieber
Line 2 Troy S Will
Line 3 Pete  

Room Assignments
Embassy Suites by Hilton - Nashville Airport
10 Century Boulevard
Nashville, Tennessee, 37214
USA TEL: +1-615-871-0033

Room 1 Steve, Preston, Dwight, Andy
Room 2 Crawford, VanHacks, Maniac
Room 3 Troy/Bieber, Macha/Will (maybe JOEY)
Room 4 Pete/Jason, Kappler
Room 5 Available (Sandstroms?)


Game / Location Opponent Day / Time
1:   Ford Ice South Pickering Predators Friday Apr 5, 9:25pm
2:   Centennial B Team Indiana Travel Selects Saturday Apr 6, 8:30am
3:   Centennial B Tag Heating & Cooling Saturday Apr 6, 3:00pm
Championship Game Chaos vs TBD Sunday Apr 7, 1:00pm
Name # Position
Chaos Cash'in In

Johnny Cash has graciously volunteered to give the famous Chaos scouting report

Bieber, Justin 7 I can't stand powder puff youtube punk kids like Justin Bieber.   I will probably look him up and kick his ass if he really comes to Nashville.  In my day, this guy would be lucky to be a stage hand.   Can't imagine he can play a sport like hockey.    I heard he is forming his own fan club too.   Probably will go over on points since he is all about himself and will push to score even if he picks up a minus trying.
Belding, Preston 8 F An old guard member of the team.   Probably about as worn out as me, but hey, give him credit for showing up and trying.    At a minimum, I bet he will go to some of the local clubs and drop a few bucks on the young country stars.  Pick him to go over but only if the number is zero or .5. 
Benninger, Steve 19 F From what I have read about the history of this team, I think I would like this guy.  He seems like a gamer even if he is pushing 50.   I do question his judgment brining punks like Bieber, Macha and the VanHacks kid to a place like Nashville.   Maybe there is just a shortage of men up North and he had to fill the roster.   If anyone goes over, it will probably be him.
Channer, Dwight 42 F I found out about this guy on the Internet.   Doesn't look like he is much of a player, but it seems he is pretty smart.  I wouldn't know about smart.   If he really is smart, he will just go to the net and hope a few pucks go in off of him.  If you believe in luck, then pick Channer to be over.
Crawford, Brian 0 G From the stats sheet we can tell he is not related to the NHL Crawford although if they replace the puck with a beach ball, he may be able to pitch a shutout.   It is tough to pitch a shutout.   He is replacing the legendary JOEY Krizek.  Those are some big skates to fill, not to mention the alcohol he will have to consume to even be considered in the same class. 
Hartley, Jason 6 F A rookie who just returned to the ice this year.  My sources tell me he is finally starting to play well and make an impact.   I don't see much scoring on this team so Hartley may be the wild card.   In fact, if the Chaos end up playing a game on Sunday it is likely to be thanks to this guy.  If not, it will be his fault that they are going home empty handed.  No pressure.   I pick him over, but not over enough. 
Kappler, Brian 17 F Does this guy still play hockey or is he just sponsoring another team?   He is on the roster, but that doesn't mean much.  In fact, even if he pays it doesn't mean he will show up.   But if he does, his big contribution may well be baby sitting the young punks at the fun Nashville clubs.   For sure the once sharp and relentless attacking Forward will likely be a little bit rusty.   So, I look for him to be under.   WAAAAY Under. 
Krizek, JOEY 30 G I don't know if this guy is coming, but if he does, I'm partying with him.   It only took me a few minutes to decide he is my favorite player on this team.   Even though it seems he recently decided to get married, but after he hangs with me for a while, he may never go back.   Hopefully he will be coaching the team.
Kurmaniak, Chris 12 D Another rookie.   To date, a career minor leaguer just scraping by.   Ideally he will surprise everyone and make a big contribution.   With a nickname like The Maniac, I won't say anything bad about him.  He could probably party with my crowd and fit in well.   I have to pick someone to go over so it will be The Maniac.
Macha, Mike 7 D No question he is a solid defenseman and may score a point or two.   But here in Nashville, pretty boys like him get chewed up and spit out.  I bet he doesn't even have a pair of cowboy boots.   My guess is he will go home and never come back.   For sure he will be  under. 
Lovell, Andy 13 F Hands down, after JOEY, this guy looks like my favorite skater on the team.   Reminds me of my younger days when I didn't have any brains at all and did the dumbest things I could.   Thankfully, I wised up.  Thankfully he hasn't so the Chaos should have some great entertainment in Nashville.   Pick the push on him but only if the number is zero.
McDonald, Pete 25 F What?  A 60 year old skater on the team.   Keep the ambulances warmed up if he tries to last more than about 45 seconds on a shift.   Whoever he is trading with will probably get the most ice time of anyone.  But you never know, seems he is either really, really good, or nearly invisible.   I like old guys and root for them to do well.  Pick the over on Pete.
Owen, Will 5 D Unfortunately, here is a guy who seems to have cleaned up his act.  Hopefully he has not lost his ability out there on the ice now that he won't drink any more of that 'Burning beer of Fire' that made him famous.   But you never know.  He will be on scholarship and hopefully will try to put a dent in da Butcha's wallet.   For sure Will will be an over pick for me.
Sandstrom, Eric 10 F Tough choice when I picked Lovell as my favorite player.  da Butcha would have been #1 in his younger days, but he seems to have mellowed.   Maybe the country scene in Nashville will rekindle da Butcha of old.   Let's hope so.   I would have loved to go out on a Butcha Mission with him back when he was a fun guy.  He will probably be an under.   Benninger will expect too much and base his number on performance long since passed.
Schraffenberger, Troy 91 D Now of all the young guys on the team, Schraffenberger looks to be the type I might eventually like.   Not much bothers him and he has a great attitude.    But his reliability is extremely questionable.  I would not want to have to rely on someone like him to get me hope after an epic bender.   I think he could get pretty crazy here and end up barely able to skate.  Go with the under on Troy. 
VanHeukelom, Tyler 56 F Nickname of VanHacks?  That says it all.   He better adapt to the southern hospitality quickly or he will spend the weekend in the penalty box or possibly even in jail.  He would be wise give $500 to someone like Captain Chaos to pay his bail after he gets stupid on Friday or Saturday.    On the ice, if he is not in the box, he definitely has the ability to go over.  He should go over.  But only if he realizes the refs in Nashville are not blind.