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Name |
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Cash's Chaos Conclusions
Pre-tournament prediction in white
Post-tournament evaluation in yellow |
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Bieber, Justin |
I can't stand powder puff youtube punk kids like
Justin Bieber. I will probably look him up and kick his ass if
he really comes to Nashville. In my day, this guy would be lucky to be
a stage hand. Can't imagine he can play a sport like hockey.
I heard he is forming his own fan club too. Probably will go
over on points since he is all about himself and will push to score even if
he picks up a minus trying. Well,
for sure he didn't gain any new fans. An indifferent performance by
Bieber. Only managed one goal and the opposing goalie wasn't
even in the net. Even Old McDonald did better scoring one against a
real goalie. Maybe next time Bieber will earn his spot.
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Belding, Preston |
An old guard member of the team. Probably
about as worn out as me, but hey, give him credit for showing up and trying.
At a minimum, I bet he will go to some of the local clubs and drop a few
bucks on the young country stars. Pick him to go over but only if the
number is zero or .5.
Belding certainly exceeded everyone's expectations
as the leader of the checking line. His over under was
plus/minus of -2, so expectations were low. But without a doubt
he was one of the brighter spots in the losing effort.
Nicely done. |
Benninger, Steve |
From what I have read about the history of this team,
I think I would like this guy. He seems like a gamer even if he is
pushing 50. I do question his judgment brining punks like Bieber,
Macha and the VanHacks kid to a place like Nashville. Maybe
there is just a shortage of men up North and he had to fill the roster.
If anyone goes over, it will probably be him. '
The Captain had another great tournament going waaaay
over and playing really well. He managed to set up some nice
goals and raise the level of his line mates. The only downside
was a lack of organization outside the arena. He failed to get them
downtown to waste money in my museum and the famous bars. Maybe he
will get his priorities straight next time. |
Channer, Dwight |
I found out about this guy on the Internet.
Doesn't look like he is much of a player, but it seems he is pretty smart.
I wouldn't know about smart. If he really is smart, he will
just go to the net and hope a few pucks go in off of him. If you
believe in luck, then pick Channer to be over.
Right from the start you could see Channer had been
playing lots of hockey this year. He even managed an excellent
goal off a legitimate Benninger pass and I would have to say he played
reasonably well in each game. |
Crawford, Brian |
From the stats sheet we can tell he is not related to
the NHL Crawford although if they replace the puck with a beach ball, he may
be able to pitch a shutout. It is tough to pitch a shutout.
He is replacing the legendary JOEY Krizek. Those are some big skates
to fill, not to mention the alcohol he will have to consume to even be
considered in the same class.
Crawford
had a pretty decent tournament .... at least against the crummy teams.
He was on his way to having a shutout in one game but someone jinxed him on
the bench between the 2nd and 3rd period. While it would
obviously be unfair to pin the game 3 loss on Crawford since he was not the
bonehead who had 3 penalties and got kicked out of the game, the fact
remains that if he had pitched a shutout the Chaos would have been playing
for the Championship.
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Hartley, Jason |
A rookie who just returned to the ice this year.
My sources tell me he is finally starting to play well and make an impact.
I don't see much scoring on this team so Hartley may be the wild card.
In fact, if the Chaos end up playing a game on Sunday it is likely to be
thanks to this guy. If not, it will be his fault that they are going
home empty handed. No pressure. I pick him over, but not
over enough.
I like this guy more after the tournament. He
obviously put his priority on cutting loose, guzzling beer and partying as
opposed to worrying about the hockey games. He is my kind of guy.
I hope he comes back next year and makes it downtown. Clearly I was
wrong about him going under. In Chaos speak, he was not just
under, he was WAAAAAYYYYYY UNDER. I wonder if he will get another
invitation? |
Kappler, Brian |
Does this guy still play hockey or is he just
sponsoring another team? He is on the roster, but that doesn't
mean much. In fact, even if he pays it doesn't mean he will show up.
But if he does, his big contribution may well be baby sitting the young
punks at the fun Nashville clubs. For sure the once sharp and
relentless attacking Forward will likely be a little bit rusty.
So, I look for him to be under. WAAAAY Under.
A member of Belding's checking line, I have to give
him partial credit for helping Belding in the mission to not be too far
negative. It would have been better if he had put in a goal or
two, but I think his performance rates as slightly satisfactory.
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Krizek, JOEY |
I don't know if this guy is coming, but if he does,
I'm partying with him. It only took me a few minutes to decide
he is my favorite player on this team. Even though it seems he
recently decided to get married, but after he hangs with me for a while, he
may never go back. Hopefully he will be coaching the team.
My biggest disappointment. He was a now show.
I almost started crying. |
Kurmaniak, Chris |
Another rookie. To date, a career minor
leaguer just scraping by. Ideally he will surprise everyone and
make a big contribution. With a nickname like The Maniac, I
won't say anything bad about him. He could probably party with my
crowd and fit in well. I have to pick someone to go over so it
will be The Maniac. Big surprise here .... he
put in a couple goals in the first game and was an offensive force. I
have to give this guy the Rookie of the Year award. Captain Chaos
should definitely bring him back next time. |
Macha, Mike |
No question he is a solid defenseman and may score a
point or two. But here in Nashville, pretty boys like him get
chewed up and spit out. I bet he doesn't even have a pair of cowboy
boots. My guess is he will go home and never come back.
For sure he will be under.
Macha had a pretty decent tournament.
Although he was on the ice for more goals against than I expected, he did
offset that with a strong offensive performance. |
Lovell, Andy |
Hands down, after JOEY, this guy looks like my
favorite skater on the team. Reminds me of my younger days when
I didn't have any brains at all and did the dumbest things I could.
Thankfully, I wised up. Thankfully he hasn't so the Chaos should have
some great entertainment in Nashville. Pick the push on him but
only if the number is zero. A huge
disappointment from the party end which I say is most important.
Didn't crawl to his room once and never spent one minute laying on the front
lawn. If anyone was going to lead a group downtown, I thought sure it
would be Andy. I wonder if he is getting older or smarter. I
hope just older. |
McDonald, Pete |
What? A 60 year old skater on the team.
Keep the ambulances warmed up if he tries to last more than about 45 seconds
on a shift. Whoever he is trading with will probably get the
most ice time of anyone. But you never know, seems he is either
really, really good, or nearly invisible. I like old guys and
root for them to do well. A return to the
Chaos seemed to rejuvenate this guy. He had one really nice goal
(unlike Bieber) and was a true force out on defense selflessly blocking
shot after shot. A total team player, he spent nearly the entire
time in game 3 watching from the bench while the team killed Tyler's
penalties. In fact, he even served one of Tyler's penalties after he
was kicked out and drinking Gatorade in the locker room. If I
were him, I would have made Tyler pay my entire bar bill on Saturday night.
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Owen, Will |
Unfortunately, here is a guy who seems to have cleaned
up his act. Hopefully he has not lost his ability out there on the ice
now that he won't drink any more of that 'Burning beer of Fire' that made
him famous. But you never know. He will be on scholarship
and hopefully will try to put a dent in da Butcha's wallet. For
sure Will will be an over pick for me.
Mr. Owen played reasonably well.
But I did notice that he totally failed to take advantage of the Sandstrom
Scholarship. You have to give this guy the "whatever it takes"
award since he played a game with his skate glued together. He
probably wanted to save his money for beer when he gets back to Chicago.
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Sandstrom, Eric |
Tough choice when I picked Lovell as my favorite
player. da Butcha would have been #1 in his younger days, but he seems
to have mellowed. Maybe the country scene in Nashville will
rekindle da Butcha of old. Let's hope so. I would
have loved to go out on a Butcha Mission with him back when he was a fun
guy. He will probably be an under. Benninger will expect
too much and base his number on performance long since passed.
Da Butcha played well as excpected. He even
ditched his family downtown for a while to party with the team. The
old Butcha would have just sent them all home in an Uber but I still give
him a C+ passing grade for dragging them all to the last game and making
them watch him take a penalty .... big surprise. |
Schraffenberger, Troy |
Now of all the young guys on the team, Schraffenberger
looks to be the type I might eventually like. Not much bothers
him and he has a great attitude. But his reliability is
extremely questionable. I would not want to have to rely on someone
like him to get me hope after an epic bender. I think he could
get pretty crazy here and end up barely able to skate. Go with the
under on Troy.
Troy played pretty well. Unfortunately
he behaved himself and didn't even appear hung over for the early Saturday
game. Probably the biggest disappointment that I had now
that I look back on my pre-tournament predictions. He has a ways to go
to get in the class of a Krizek, Lovell, McDonald, Lovell or Benninger.
Maybe someday he will get there, but for now, he has a ways to go.
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VanHeukelom, Tyler |
Nickname of VanHacks? That says it all.
He better adapt to the southern hospitality quickly or he will spend the
weekend in the penalty box or possibly even in jail. He would be wise
give $500 to someone like Captain Chaos to pay his bail after he gets stupid on
Friday or Saturday. On the ice, if he is not in the box,
he definitely has the ability to go over. He should go over. But
only if he realizes the refs in Nashville are not blind.
Well, it seems I was spot on about this punk although
unless you consider the penalty box "jail" he behaved better than I thought,
at least off the ice. On the ice, it was as expected. He even
managed to ensure the team would blow the last game by taking 3 penalties
and getting kicked out of a close game. |
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