|
The Chaos are fortunate to have
Preston Belding on the roster. The world is full of people who
want to be Chaos members but then back out at the last minute.
There are still others who stop by for a year or two, then never show
up again. Not Preston. Captain Chaos can count on getting
Preston's money every year. Preston is so proud of his record of
9 straight years playing for the Chaos that he campaigned for his own
motivational page. He deserves it, so here it is. Preston,
your Reliability is an inspiration to us all.
I would never allow your
motivational page to be about an old, fat, out of shape person
managing to trek all the way from Ohio just for the camaraderie of the
Chaos. You deserve far more than that. You are the Cal
Ripken of the Chaos. Cal Ripken played in a record 2632
consecutive games. I will give you 4 games per year since the
Chaos are normally in the finals. At that rate, I calculate that
you are a mere 650 years away from passing Mr. Ripken as the true
reliability champion of sports.
I also took the time to do some
statistical research on Mr. Ripken. There are some striking
similarities to Preston. Over the course of Ripken's career, he
has had some great years - like Preston. However, it is very
obvious that overall, he was simply an average player who showed up
for every game - fearful that someone could easily take his place.
I will leave it to the group to decide if this describes Preston too.
My research also showed that his performance consistently declined
towards the end of his career. Fortunately, with 650 more years
of Chaos games, Preston is still a long way from entering his
declining years.
Let's all raise a toast to
Preston "Sonic Butt" Belding - Mr. Reliability.
There must be a story about that
Sonic Butt somewhere, but I'll be darned if I can figure it out.
|
