Rationalize
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When we do something that may not make
sense or something that we know we shouldn't do, we often rationalize
our behavior.
Mike Macaskill is a master of this. Here are just a couple of
examples:
Mike can always come up with a reason to whine and chirp at the
refs. This is to excuse his mistakes or poor play.
Mike once broke his stick over a guys back when we were shaking
hands. In his mind he rationalized a reason why it was OK.
Whenever he skates in and doesn't pass, he can always rationalize
it by saying that he had the better shot.
Now what does this have to do with the Chaos. Simple, if there is
one thing that people rationalize more than anything else, it is a
reason to consume mass quantities of alcohol. No matter that it
may lead to major problem, not the least of which may be that you will
not be able to play in the Championship game. The Chaos are no
exceptions to alcohol rationalization. Below are some of the
great quotes from past years that are all gathered together here.
The reason - simple. We need all the excuses possible to consume
mass quantities once again this year. |
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"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel
shame Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in
the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't
drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be
shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink
this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about
my liver." - Aunt June |
| "I feel sorry for people who don't
drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going
to feel all day. " - Preston Belding WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people. |
| "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up
reading." ~ Eric Sandstrom - WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH
you. |
| "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence? I think not." ~ B. Kappler WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. |
| "When we drink, we get drunk. When we
get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no
sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and
go to heaven!" - Captain Chaos WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may cause pregnancy. |
| "Beer is proof that God loves us and
wants us to be happy." ~ Andy Lovell WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jackass |
| "Without question, the greatest
invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as
well with pizza." - JOEY WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you
love them. |
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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of
Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo
Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move
as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few
beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not
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