Eric Sandstrom - AKA The Butcher

As one of the most colorful players in Chaos history, there may never have been a hockey player of his size who has been a bigger hack.  This man can do it all. We have all seen him knock someone over with a check, a trip, a crosscheck or a corkscrew.  Many others can do it, but no one does it with the flair of The Butcher.  Who among us has not witnessed a knockdown followed by The Butcher standing over his victim asking "Why don't you learn how to skate you big pu$$y?".  

Of course, the real reason he is known as The Butcher is his legendary work with the stick.  This man can use it to poke-check the puck, or poke someone in the eye.  He is absolutely wicked.  We can all learn from The Butcher.  Establish your turf, stand up for your rights, be consistent from game to game.  If necessary, do not hesitate to use your stick as a lethal weapon.  Keep the blade sharp, use white tape so the opponent's blood from prior games can clearly be seen.  True greatness can result in a world renowned nickname.

The Butcher is also very well known for his toughness and creativity.   He has had suffered through several dislocated right shoulders.  Three already in the last year including 2 within the last 6 weeks.  Does this stop him from playing?  Absolutely not.  It does not even stop him from heading to the bar.  Creative you ask?  That's what I would call someone who returns from a business trip from China with a yeast infection on his head and tries to tell everyone that it came from his hockey helmet.  C'mon Eric.  We know better.  Next time try to come up with something more believable.  Or better yet, use your brain and don't admit to all of your hockey team mates that you have a yeast infection on your head.   (In case any of you readers are not very bright, here is a link for you to read:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/yeastinfection)

As with Macaskill's whining, The Butcher's butchering reached reached epic proportions this year.  The unquestioned highlight was his performance in a D- league game this year with about 10 seconds left when The Butcher has added a new trick to his legendary repertoire.  An unfortunate opponent was down on his hands and knees after Eric's team mate had given him a vicious crosscheck.  The Butcher simply could not bear to go to the locker room without having the last and most blatant hack of the night.  He proceed to skate past the opponent at a high rate of speed and kneed the player right in the side of the head.   I have to tell you that I could not believe my eyes and I have never seen anyone, including Macaskill, go crazier on the ice.  Eric simply skated away waving his stick in the guys face claiming that it was an accident.

Again, as with Macaskill, the Chaos management has managed to get a famous Pop star to re-issue one of his most famous songs in honor of The Chaos' very own Eric "The Butcher" Sandstrom.   The Chaos Webmaster is pleased to post it here for your listening enjoyment.   This song is sure to rocket up the charts after this year's Niagara Chaos Championship.  Please note that this is copyrighted and you cannot re-produced it or sell it for any reason.  If you do, then The Butcher may carve you up.   Make sure your speakers are on and then click on this link and enjoy !  The Butchers Back

Click the BACK button on your browser to return to this page after the song is over.  Here are the lyrics in case you want to follow along. 

Did The Butcher really rub this crap

all over his head for a couple of weeks?

I was justified when I was five
Raising cane, I spit in your eye
Times are changing, now the poor get fat
But the fever's gonna catch you
when the bitch gets back

Eat meat on Friday that's alright
Even like steak on a Saturday night
I can bitch the best at your social do's
I get high in the evening sniffing pots of glue

I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch
Oh the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch
`Cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move
The things that I do

I entertain by picking brains
Sell my soul by dropping names
I don't like those, my God, what's that
Oh it's full of nasty habits when
the bitch gets back

 'm a bitch, I'm a bitch
Oh the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch
`Cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move
The things that I do

 I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch
Oh the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch
`Cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move
The things that I do

 Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back

Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back

Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back

Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back

A total hack since he’s been alive
Soakin’ wet he's only one fifty five
Time’s haven't changed, Eric’s still a hack
And his stick will catch you
YEAH,  the Butcher’s back

Over sleepin on the couch on Friday Knight
He cut’s em like a juicy steak every night
He can butcher the best at the local rink,
He celebrates at the pub with his beer to drink

He’s a butcher, he’s a butcher
Oh the butchers back
Straight from China with a rash on his head
He can hack, he can whack
Even worse than Mike.
The way that he whacks
The player he hacks oh oh

He entertains by kneeing brains
Always smiling when he’s causing pains.
A yellow-rip-away jersey,  what is that
He’s full of nasty habits YEAH,
The Butchers back.

He’s a butcher, he’s a butcher
Oh the butchers back
Straight from China  with a rash on his head
He can hack, he can whack
Even worse than Mike.
We know that he loves,
The hackin' he does oh oh

He’s a butcher, he’s a butcher
Oh the butchers back
Straight from China with a rash on his head
He can hack, he can whack
Even worse than Mike.
The way that he whacks
The player he hacks oh oh

Attack, crack, The Butchers back
Hack, whack, The Butchers back
Attack, crack, The Butchers back
Hack, whack, The Butchers back