|The results were once
again disappointing for the Detroit Chaos. Below are links for
official statistical results:
Final Standings ,
Official Team Statistics
Here is the Hockey North
America summary of the tourney. It includes some comments about the
Cheating Mother-Frickers from Dayton and their forfeit strategy. What
a bunch of Ohio sissies (we are competing for the website award this year,
so we can't call them Ohio Pu-----.
Game 1 - Friday Night - The tourney started
out on a very low note for the Chaos. We had to play a team from the
level above us. They were from Dayton, Ohio. We all know it is a
disgrace to lose to any team from Ohio. They stomped us 7 - 1.
Even the great JOEY was no match. Thanks a lot Captain for setting
Game 2 - Saturday Morning -
This game will be forever remembered as the slush bowl. The ice
sucked. We played the Mother-Frickers - another team from Dayton.
This is the team that cheated to get in the final, then cheated again in the
final by bringing in their good players from the upper division.
Anyway, they had a couple of players dressed up like idiots with helmets
that light up. There is a picture of one of the idiots right
here - make sure you click this link because I was
able to track down where he lives and works after the tourney.. We know
we were better than they were, but being from Ohio, they were probably used
to lousy ice. They had a couple of breaks and squeaked by us 3-2.
Game 3 - Saturday Afternoon - We were very
fortunate to win this game. The team was from Buffalo and they
were called the Sharks. They had beaten the Mother-Frickers on Friday
night. We jumped out to an early lead because about 1/2 of their team
was not even dressed. There was a big fight going on between them and
the organizers of the tourney thanks to the cheatin' Mother Frickers who
elected to forfeit (chickened out) of their game against the Division 1 team.
The Sharks could have just skipped their game with us and been in the finals
against the Mother-Frickers, but since they were from a real hocky state and
they were men, they decided to play us. They were far better than the
Mother-Frickers but we were fired up and held onto our early lead and won
the game. They certainly deserved to be in the finals against us, but
the organizers lacked guts to do the proper thing which was to send the
Mother-Frickers back to Ohio with their stupid light up helmets on, so
we had to play the Mother-Frickers on Sunday.
Saturday Night - Since we had barely lost to
the Mother-Frickers on Saturday AM, we were feeling pretty confident about
the Championship. We figured with good ice, our superior talent, and
the hockey Gods on our side, we would surely win. We stayed at the
hotel like good boys and had a few sodas up in the courtesy room that the
Captain had lined up. Unfortunately, there were people in the nearby
rooms with very sensitive hearing. They called and complained a couple
of times and despite Pete's best efforts to calm down the foreigner at the
front desk, we had to disband the party around 1:00am.
Game 4 - Sunday Morning - Played some of the
Mother-Frickers and lots of their buddies form the Division 1 Dayton Team.
This was a completely different bunch of Frickers than who we played in the
slush bowl. The game was marred by lots of rough play and penalties.
At the end of the game there was a bench clearing brawl. We went down
fighting 3-2. This was, by far, the most bitter defeat in Detroit Chaos
history. Next year, we will be on a mission from God.
Click here to see the
pictures from the party.